EGOTISM

egotism; conceit; self-importance: Her ego becomes more unbearable each day.

 

lol

 

This is what I'm going through. For the first time in my life I am feeling myself on unprecedented levels...  loving me... basking in my talent and my beauty. A heady mix of conceit and self actualization that I know is frowned upon in polite society.

 

but...

 

What if you never had it before? What if you always found yourself wanting? What if you married the first man who said he loved you, notwithstanding the fact that he abused and cheated on you, because you secretly thought you could do no better? You believed him when he said you deserved the worst of everything.

 

What if you had a father at home who objectified woman, and planted poisonous seeds of degradation in your psyche during your tender development?

 

I never felt I was worthy. I never was a priority. 

 

then one day, I grew up. I could no longer deny my talent/compassion/beauty. It was sort of like emerging from a cocoon as a butterfly and flying past a window. You see you wings for the first time in all of their multicolored splendor. And you think...

 

Holly Shyt... all of this was inside of me.

 

So I'm flying around and I'm glancing at my wings every chance I get. 

 

lol

 

Ego trippin... Not trying to offend anyone... Really don't think I'm better than anyone... but I'm in my bag... For the first time in my life... I'M ON MY TEAM AND i'M SCREAMING GO JULIE GO...

 

YOU THE SHIT!!!

 

lol

until next time

Julia